CW, A Fable

Creative Writing

As mentioned in one of my previous posts, during the Creative Writing club I wanted to try to write in different styles.

This story follows my previous post on  "Are we faking liking fake?" >here< and I decided to write a fable and got inspired when watching the duck mating season on the Airthrey Loch within the university campus when two male ducks would be endlesly following one female duck.

A Fable

Frederick and Ferdinand were young male ducks who lived by the Airthrey Loch. 

As the time of year approached, they began to feel the need to set up a family. 

There was one female duck called Hanna, who had the fairest feathers and kindest eyes of all female ducks. 

Both Frederick and Ferdinand particularly liked her and were both plotting plans how to win her heart and start a new life full of baby ducks with her.

Every morning they woke up, they spent hours and hours looking at their reflection in the loch’s surface, trying to smooth and polish their feathers according to the newest trends. Until they looked nothing like themselves. 

Since they saw Hanna, they would not let her be; they followed her everywhere, firing self-made jokes at her and bragging about their last night’s wild experiences. Hanna was confused and had no idea, why would they keep following her.

Once she tried to hide in the small bushes next to the lake and discovered that there is someone already there. 

A male duck Gustav was trying to find a refuge from all the noise that some of the members of his kind were causing and wanted to admire the beauty of nature for himself. Suddenly, however, he was disturbed by a female duck that possessed unusually charming and kind looks.

Hanna and Gustav started talking and found out how much they have in common and how much they like true and genuine personality. As the fate would have it, Hanna and Gustav, feel in love with the true and warm-hearted and passionate feeling for each other.

 Right now are expecting 4 small additions to their family.

And what about Frederick and Ferdinand? 

They are still wondering around the loch with all their fake appearance and attitudes, not knowing why is it that no female duck would laugh at their jokes.

The moral

Do not fake liking fake, be yourself.

Are we faking liking fake?

Some people might actually hate me once they read this post, but I feel the need to comment on this issue, briefly...or not.

Ok, there is something that I found rather astonishing in Scotland. I found a lot of fakeness. Is that even a word? Not sure...never mind.

Without further ado, I was surprised by how much of the fake body appearance I have been seeing around myself. Mostly it intensifies when going out. I cannot speak for the guys and I will be describing this from what I have been seeing  from the girl-perspective.

There is a long preparation process before going out. 

Usually it goes like this:

- a fake tan few days before going out 

(ohh come on, you don´t want to look pale, do you? Who cares that it is really dark inside.)

- a shower 

(30 minutes...you want to have no pubic hair in case "you get lucky", right?)

- make up 

(60+ minutes...the oranger your face looks the better, the blacker the area around your eyes the better, fake long eyelashes preferably. No matter that your orange makeup gets everywhere during the night and you can consider yourself lucky when you lose only one eyelash, because when you entered the club, you probably rocked that place anyway, so who cares)

- hair

( 60+ minutes...you better straighten you hair, because that is trendy, no matter that it actually damages your hair. Ohh...an addition, you better have some hair extensions, because you hair is simply never long or volumneous enough)

- clothes

(simple formula = the shorther the better, the more boobs and legs the better, the more see-through the better)

- predrinking 

(40+ minutes...well the alcohol in the clubs is very enpensive and also there are also really long queues everywhere. So what you do is you buy Vodka in Tescos, not that expensive and you get pissed quickly)

Once you enter the clubs...you go into the ladies room again, to check your face and hair again and add some more make up since you simply cannot have enough of fake stuff. 

FYI...There are freaking hair straightners in ladies room in Dusk. And that has no sense whatsoever. Once you arrive there, you surely have a certain amount of alcohol in your system in order to be able to survive in place like that. Therefore, the hair straightners in this scenario usually turn into mean beasts and you better not use them if you do not intend to burn yourself.

And as a matter of fact, if you do need to use the toilet, you might have a real trouble going through the crowds of girls that are queueing there to make them look themselves more fake.

Anyway, I cannot help wondering, if you feel confident with yourself only if you put a lot of fakeness on, what kind of a message are you sending. 

To me, this message says "I want you to like the fake me, because this way I feel beautiful". Is it just me, or do you see the slight problem here? 

I do, since I interpret it in a way...if you cannot be really true and confident with yourself, what kind of relationship (or entertainment...depending on your needs and morals :) ) are you searching for. 

>And to be honest with you, there is a pretty intense search going on there<

Do the guys even like the fake you or are they just faking it so that they might get some minutes of fun?

 Seriously, if they do then they must have a really bad taste. 

And if they don´t...why fake to like it?

Also...if you expect the guy / the girl to like the fake you, what kind of life in illusion are you going for and how do you expect the other person to like you for who you really are?

>now...at this point I admit, that I might be a tiny bit naive if I think that some people actually might go in clubs in a search of not only a one night stand<

I do not have answers for any of those questions...my main concern is why do people go for advertising their fakeselves rather then being confident with their trueselves.

My theory (based on an  observation) is, that we people do it because we are actually shy and scared to get hurt for what we really are. It hurts less to get hurt when being fake, doesn´t it?

The fakeness probably tends to borrow the fake sense confidence.

Because the alarming truth is that I saw those people turning into more confident and assertive personalities once being more fake. 

I think that I would be fine if it was teenagers that I saw behaving like that, but most of those people were over 20. Is it the media pressure that makes us do that? Since when do girls / women think that they look more pretty with a tone of fakeness on themselves? 

I can sincerely (and without any intention of this to sound like a cliche) say that everyone looks better and more beautiful without all that fake stuff. 

Yes, you too!

So go out there and work on your confidence to realise that.

I apologise to everyone who got offended by this post.

Stirling nightlife

Some people might argue that there is not a very vibrant night life in Stirling.

As many of you know, I am not much of a party person. 

I cannot help it, I like to sleep at night...sorry.

Nevertheless, I did try to get a taste of what people do when they go out in Stirling.

PUBS.   

There are few pubs you might go to, such as the Irish pub or the Cape or the Kilted Kangaroo (a bar that pretends to look like an Aussie bar and includes Karaoke option). 

I have not gotten into liking any of them. You have expensive drinks and loud cheesy music that prevents any kind of rational conversation with your friends. 

Although, I have to admit, I have not been to the Irish pub...just because my brain works in  "why would I go to an Irish pub if I am in Scotland" way.

The pub that actually was nice and cosy was the 300 years old pub Settle Inn, that Conn took me during in my first week in Scotland (see here http://julieisinscotland.blogspot.cz/2014/02/day-2.html ). 

I came back a few times, because of the pleasent atmosphere and friendly local people.

CLUBS.  

Though not being a "party-animal" I did go to clubs 4 times during my whole stay. 

There are 2 clubs in Stirling. 

Dusk and FuBar.

Both of them are in a way very similar, except that there is an unwritten rule that on Tuesday it is cool to go to Dusk and on Thursday you go to FuBar.

Or maybe the other way around, I cannot even remember.

During my first visits to those clubs I went with my flatmates, who were absolute darlings, taking care of me and introducing me to their friends. 

Thank you Natalie, Lisa, Debbie and Jane!

What I have to confess though, that I did no enjoy myself that much. The music was way too loud (my ability to hear had to recover at least another 24 hours after), the clubs were too crowded (you literally could not make it to the dance floor unless being pushed or touched by the people you would in usual circumstances would not liked to by pushed or touched by) and the people are way to forward.

What do I mean by that?

Maybe it is not exclusively a Stirling club rule and I am just an inexperienced person, but I got very surprised when after dancing for 5 minutes I got approached by one guy to be kissed. 

Honestly said the guy was good looking and I might have considered his bold move for a second or two. I might have even been flattered for a split second, but then my brain kicked in and made me realise that this person is completely drunk and is probably lucky to recognize a girl from a guy with his surely blurred eye-sight. 

I did not wished to be kissed by a person like that and also...I would feel somewhat cheap. 

Later on I realised that being approched by a drunk person is not an unusual thing at all. 

This actually happens or regular bases and the guys get annoyed or even offensive if you say no. 

Let me be brutally honest here. 

The word "no" is something they don´t hear very often, because most of the girls (I wish I can say that I am just generalizing) are drunk too and like any kind of attention. 

A RECOMMENDATION

What I would recommend to do is following. Find good friends (such as Hazel, Rachel, Courtney, Theo, Nat, Liz, Jess or Sarah :)) and if you want to have real fun, get together for a party in your flat, cook food and buy some cheap booze if you must.

I have been to several events like those and I always enjoyed myself far more than if I went to a club and had to wait in a neverending queue and shout at my friends every single word if I wanted to be heard.

10 things to know about Stirling!

1. William Wallace is a big thing here! 

Yes it is the guy from the movie Braveheart, played by Mel Gibson. >The only good thing about the film is the soundtrack if you ask me<

 The film was made unfortunately in Ireland, because apparently the got more more from the Irish for filming it....ohhh the money talks.

Stirling is a place where the major Scottish wars for independence from the English were taking place. Even the nameStirling itself is suppose to have a connection with the words "struggle" or "battle".

2. Stirling´s location

Stirling is on the border of Highlands (the area with beautiful dramatic nature that you possibly think of when you hear about Scotland) and Lowlands. 

Some people even think that Stirling is the Gateaway to the Highlands.The Lowlands is the more flat part of Scotland, maybe also more industrial if you´d like. However, both Glasgow and Edinburgh are exactly is this part of the country. 

Whenever you feel like visiting a bigger city, it takes you less than an hour. Both Glasgow and Edinburgh are only around 30 miles away from Stirling.

3. It is a "Loch" , not a "lake". 

Well, the Scottish people would laugh at you, if you say "Oh what a nice lake and in the middle of the campus!" 

This word simply does not work here, don´t ask me why, the ones that I asked did not know themselves. There is only one lake that you are allowed to call lake, the Lake of Menteith.

4. Dumyat

Who hasn´t climbed that hill as if never went to Stirling. 

An amazing hike, that starts right at the Uni campus. Some people even do a race up to Dumyat and run there. I won´t be able to do such a thing.

If you fell in love with hiking (like me), good news for you. 

The Dumyat hill is only one hill out of many that the Ochil Hills consist of. It is not even the highest one. So good luck exploring!

5. Stirling castle

Stirling castle probably comes already from the 12 century, but the way it looks now comes from the reconstruction in the reinasance style that has been made buring the 15th century.The entrance fee if aroung 9 pounds. 

However, if you live in Stirling (even for a semester) and you bring your ID card with you and some sort of prove that you live there, you have can access it for free.

6.Uni town

Stirling has about 46 000 citizens and about 11 000 students. 

It is a pretty lively town with a lot of student energy and a lot of events happening throughout the year. 

At first I wanted to attend all of them, because I wanted to be part of the Stirling community and not to miss out. Soon, I realised that there is no way I can catch up will all that is happening there.

7. Transport

The most common transport are buses. You can take a bus almost anywhere. If you show the driver your student id, a return ticket should usually cost around 1,70 pounds. The monthly ticket costs about  25 pounds. 

However, I never bought it...for many reasons. Basically, I did not feel like spending money for "laziness" and harming the environment. I was walking from my uni accomodation every day to the uni campus. It was about 3,5 miles, but it kept me doing regular exercise. 

It did take me about 50 minutes of walking. 

However, I did not mind it...I did not even mind waking up an hour earlier. The walk actually woke me up nicely and many times I have seen a very beautiful sunrise.

Ultimately my friend let me a bike, so I ended up cycling everywhere. Suddenly I was arriving to place very quickly and I was able to explore the surroundings at bigger distances. There is a shop in Stirling "Recyke a bike" where you can buy a bike cheaply and sell it there once you leave. 

Amazing if you ask me.

9. Roughness

Some people tell you that Stirling can be rough. Whenever they do, I feel like "if you think that Stirling is rough, try to live in Prague". Stirling through my eyes?There is almost no homeless people. You get some drunk people, but they are usually harmless. 

Overall, I felt really safe in Stirling, it almost gave you the impression that you dont have to lock the doors. I would be always going to my accomodation any time of the day or night and never felt unsafe being alone.

The impression of the safety of the place was liberating. A part of the town, that everyone is dreading and people would warn you about is Raploch. I think that this is perfectly normal area, where people who have less money or maybe a bit complicated history live in.

During my stay there was one dead body found and one rape incident reported.The dead body was found right next to where I lived, I could have actually seen the place right from my window. It was pretty scary, there were a lot of policemen and investigating people around for about a week and they closed the whole area. 

My flatmate Lisa told me: "Julie, this is a lesson for you, you are not going home alone." I replied..."you know Lisa...this place might be just the safest of all with all the security and everything now." I remember Lisa rolling her eyes and saying "Oh God, Julie, tell me that you are not thinking this was." 

Later on, it was announced that that poor person died of sudden heart attack.The rape incident was reported later during the semester. Everyone was pretty scared and shocked by it. However later on it was said that it was a fake report.

10. Pub quizes

I discovered a great passion of mine. I love joining pub quizes! What do I mean buy it?Contribute, compete and win! I always had a lot of fun with those!

Well, you find a pub where such an event is taking place (usually twice a week in different places), you buy yourself a pint of cider, you join a couple of people, create a team and wait for someone to start giving you questions. 

Are we faking liking fake?

Some people might actually hate me once they read this post, but I feel the need to comment on this issue, briefly...or not.

Ok, there is something that I found rather astonishing in Scotland. I found a lot of fakeness. Is that even a word? Not sure...never mind.

Without further adieu, I was surprised by how much of fake body appearance I have been seeing around myself. Mostly it intensifies when going out. I cannot speak for the guys and I will be describing this from what I have been seeing  from the girl-perspective.

There is a long preparation process before going out. 

Usually it goes like this:

- a fake tan few days before going out 

(ohh come on, you don´t want to look pale, do you? Who cares that it is really dark inside.)

- a shower 

(30 minutes...you want to have no pubic hair in case "you get lucky", right?)

- make up 

(60+ minutes...the oranger your face looks the better, the blacker the area around your eyes the better, fake long eyelashes preferably. No matter that your orange makeup gets everywhere during the night and you can consider yourself lucky when you lose only one eyelash, because when you entered the club, you probably rocked that place anyway, so who cares)

- hair

( 60+ minutes...you better straighten you hair, because that is trendy, no matter that it actually damages your hair. Ohh...an addition, you better have some hair extensions, because you hair is simply never long or volumneous enough)

- clothes

(simple formula = the shorther the better, the more boobs and legs the better, the more see-through the better)

- predrinking 

(40+ minutes...well the alcohol in the clubs is very enpensive and also there are also really long queues everywhere. So what you do is you buy Vodka in Tescos, not that expensive and you get pissed quickly)

Once you enter the clubs...you go into the ladies room again, to check your face and hair again and add some more make up since you simply cannot have enough of fake stuff. 

FYI...There are freaking hair straightners in ladies room in Dusk. And that has no sense whatsoever. Once you arrive there, you surely have a certain amount of alcohol in your system in order to be able to survive in place like that. Therefore, the hair straightners in this scenario usually turn into mean beasts and you better not use them if you do not intend to burn yourself.

And as a matter of fact, if you do need to use the toilet, you might have a real trouble going through the crowds of girls that are queueing there to make them look themselves more fake.

Anyway, I cannot help wondering, if you feel confident with yourself only if you put a lot of fakeness on, what kind of a message are you sending. 

To me, this message says "I want you to like the fake me, because this way I feel beautiful". Is it just me, or do you see the slight problem here? 

I do, since I interpret it in a way...if you cannot be really true and confident with yourself, what kind of relationship (or entertainment...depending on your needs and morals :) ) are you searching for. 

>And to be honest with you, there is a pretty intense search going on there<

Do the guys even like the fake you or are they just faking it so that they might get some minutes of fun?

 Seriously, if they do then they must have a really bad taste. 

And if they don´t...why fake to like it?

Also...if you expect the guy / the girl to like the fake you, what kind of life in illusion are you going for and how do you expect the other person to like you for who you really are?

>now...at this point I admit, that I might be a tiny bit naive if I think that some people actually might go in clubs in a search of not only a one night stand<

I do not have answers for any of those questions...my main concern is why do people go for advertising their fakeselves rather then being confident with their trueselves.

My theory (based on an  observation) is, that we people do it because we are actually shy and scared to get hurt for what we really are. It hurts less to get hurt when being fake, doesn´t it?

The fakeness probably tends to borrow the fake sense confidence.

Because the alarming truth is that I saw those people turning into more confident and assertive personalities once being more fake. 

I think that I would be fine if it was teenagers that I saw behaving like that, but most of those people were over 20. Is it the media pressure that makes us do that? Since when do girls / women think that they look more pretty with a tone of fakeness on themselves? 

I can sincerely (and without any intention of this to sound like a cliche) say that everyone looks better and more beautiful without all that fake stuff. 

Yes, you too!

So go out there and work on your confidence to realise that.

I apologise to everyone who got offended by this post.

Idioms and phrases

Scottish is an amazing language. 

Not only that it sounds amazing, but also, they have words and phrases of their own.

Here is a list of idioms and phases that grabbed my attention and made me write them down.

Most of them should be inclusively Scottish.

The first three are absolute must-know.

1. Aye.

- Yes...most of the people (the cool local people will respond with this word.)

2. Wee.

- no, it is not "to pee"...it means "little" (seriously everyone says that all the time!)

3. Awrite.

- Hi / Alright (in a sence of greeting)

Driving me round the bend.  

- "driving me crazy", Caitlin Knotts commenting on some person

Thare's a drap in the hoose.

- Walls have ears / everyone can hear you

Haud a wee.

- hang on / stop for a minute

Tak the gate.

- leave / exit / depart

Guid night an sweit dreams!

- Good night and sweet dreams.

Fine A ken.

- I know quite well.

A kent face.
-Someone that you have seen before.

At the hinner end.

- In the long run.

Are you takkin me on?

- Are you kidding / mocking me?

A'm feelin a bittie wabbit.

- I feel a bit tired.

We niver dee'd o winter yet.

- We will manage / survive.

No bother.

- No problem at all.

Those two I cannot remember the correct "translation" for.

1. Away and take your face for a shite. 

2. Shower ae shites.

And three bonus American ones:

Curiosity killed the cat. 

 - Theo Williams commenting on me being curious

Bomb fucked Egypt.

- In the middle of nowhere. (by Trenna)

It would cost me arm and leg.
- It would be pretty expensive. (Natalie Cohen, being in Prague)

I might have forgotten about some...

any suggestions what should I add?

Know about Scots that...

Not all of them wear  Kilts. 

Warning! Do not mock it. It is NOT A SKIRT! For the true Scots it is a sense of honour and a family (clan) kilt is passed down generation. And also it is a proper, proper one. Not some cheap version made for tourists that you can buy at every corner. 

If you see a Scot wearing a kilt, he probably will be wearing underwear. >Such a shame<

When I asked why, I have been given three reasons. 

First, the obvious safety reason. 
Second, you might get too cold.
And third...apparently the true kilt material actually tends to bite a lot and is not that comfortable.

Not all of them play backpipes. 

Usually you could see backpipers in bigger cities (Glasgow, Edinburgh, Inverness) trying to earn money while entertaining people on the streets. 

Also it is very hard to play this instrument and not very many people devote their time to learning this nowadays.

Though one day there has been some backpiper practising at the Uni campus, nice distraction, I liked it.

- Not all of them are gingers. 
As much as I love ginger hair colour, I have to admit, not all of them are gingers. Yes, there are more gingers than in central Europe, but not as many as I hoped for.

Not all of them play rugby. 

This is actually not the best topic for a friendly conversation. Although they used to be really good, Scots lost badly in a recent competition.

Most of them are incredibly friendly people. 

They smile at you and start chatting to you, though never meeting you before. It is their aim to make you feel comfortable. Once the find out that you are a tourist, they find it amazing that you intended to visit their country and the can be very generous hosts. Very unlike English, I need to admit.



Most of them do drink whisky. 

But not the cheap one you can buy in Tesco´s. If you open up this topic, they will be talking for hours about the art of whisky making, the history of whisky making, the colour, the texture, the taste, the aftertaste, the good effect of whisky on you. There are lots of local distilleries.

Did I forget something? :)

Know about Scotland that...

There is an ongoing rivalty between Edinburgh and Glasgow.

Though Glasgow is bigger (600.000 inhabitants) and is after London and Birmingham the third biggest city in United Kingdom, the capital of Scotland since the 15thcentury is Edinburgh (480.000).
An interesting fact - the capital actually used to be Stirling.

Nowadays, people are devide into those who like one and hate the other.

I have to say that I like Glasgow for its vibrant life and Edinburgh for its historical roots.
If you would be interested to know more about this, I recommend this book:

Scots do not love the English, based on the oppression in history. The do not wish to be "rulled by" the English. 

In September there is a big independence referendum, when everyone above 16 can vote whether s/he wants Scotland to be independent or not.

A thistle is a national "flower". 

According to a legend, there was a foreign warrior invading scottish settlement, he stepped on a thistle which made him shout out loud and saved the Scots. 

Nowadays you find the thistle signs everywhere.

The official animal in Scotland is a unicorn.

A unicorn, according to the Celts symbolises happiness, purity, grace and healing.
It first started to appear on coins around 1500 AD.

The Loch Ness monster (Nessie) exists. It does, you just have seen it yet.

Scotland is a land of fairies. Similarly as in Norway you have trolls, in Scotland you have fairies. The highest concentration of those creatures is apparently the Fairy Glen on the Isle of Skye. Your would have to be blind not to see one there.

There have been quite a few influental people being born in Scotland. 

Let´s name a few: 

Adam Smith (the invisible hand theory guy)

William Wallace (the warrior..will tell you more about him in upcoming posts)

Robert Burns (the poet)

 David Livingstone (the medical missionary and traveller that discovered the Victoria falls, named after Queen Victoria)

Sir Walter Scott (the novelist and poet)

J.K. Rowling (yes, the author of the famous Harry Potter books, thank you Mrs. Rowling for an amazing childhood enriched with the world of magic) 

Andy Murray (the tennis player)



And finally...the weather!
Yes it does rain, quite a lot. But there is a saying that says something like "if it rains, just waits 5 minutes" - because the weather changes a lot throughout the day.

I would say that it is very likely that you will get some rain throughout the day, however it is very unlikely that it will rain all day long...just try waiting for 5 minutes :)

An announcement

Dear friends,

if you have been following my blog as I went to Scotland and started writing my experience on day to day basis, you also probably noticed that I stopped doing that after short while.

The reason is rather simple. 

After those few days, that I did manage to write about, I started to be busy. 

Like really really busy.

I was busy with absorbing the country, the kindness of people, the customs and meeting new people. 

My usual routine was that I would be writing  by the time I got home, took a shower after a long day and get everything sorted. I would be spending an hour or so writing a new post. 

However, sooner than I expected I got overwhelmed by the exciting events and things happening during the days and I also got involved in really interesting societies.
I simply dived into the bed at the end of the days, being happy that I managed to change into my pjs and brush my teeth.

Yes, I soon became very happy in Scotland. I got in touch with amazing people and we were experiencing adventures on daily basis. I consider myself very lucky and also to be honest I am a bit angry with myself for not sticking to my original plan of writing an online diary/report of what has been happening. On the other hand, I am not that angry at all. 

The fact that I have not been able to push myself to write a new post might have to so with a tiny bit of laziness, but mainly...it has to do more with the fact that I have been having a time of my life in a breathtakingly beautiful country with truly amazing people.

Nevertheless, I am back in the Czech Republic now and I will not go into details how I feel about it yet (that is an issue on its own).  However, I decided to go back into writing about my stay in Scotland, since it is still pretty much stuck in my memory. 

Honestly said...I am not entirely sure whether I am doing this more for myself or for you. I want to capture my thoughts and feelings about my stay and also for those of you, who have been following my posts from the beggining - I want to make it up to you.

My stay in Scotland has not always been too rosy either...I have had some painful events happening in my family and it was hard to deal with that from distance. When writing about my experience I will try to write it as I felt it.

I will not make any promises about the frequency of me posting another posts, otherwise I might end up with going back on them again (which I really do not want to). 

Let me say it this way, I will post some new stuff everytime I will be missing Scotland and my friends there and everytime I will be bored and sick of being back...and that might actually be more often than you or I thought.